


Light It Up

by anouatfan



Series: for KING & COUNTRY [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 10:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13144734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anouatfan/pseuds/anouatfan
Summary: Killian gets worried when Emma doesn't answer her phone.Trigger warning: talk of depressionSeries of ficlets about Killian and Emma based on songs from for KING & COUNTRY.





	Light It Up

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by searchingwardrobes’ needtobreathe series and decided to write some pics based on my favorite artist, for KING & COUNTRY. I hope you enjoy!

_Sunset stole the light,_

_The color in your eyes_

_And everything in sight_

_Was lost in the wind_

_You lost us in the wind_

_Swan?_

_Emma?_

_Are you okay?_

_Emma, please answer me...you’re scaring me._

Killian worried his lip between his teeth, pacing a track into the floor of the living room. Liam poked his head of out the kitchen, drying the dish in his hands. “Killian, what’s wrong?”

“Swan...she’s not answered any texts all day. And she sounded kinda funny yesterday, like really down.”

“Have you tried calling her?”

“Six times. Nothing.”

“Did she say she had plans or anything for today? Like where she couldn’t answer?”

“No. Nothing.” Killian ran his hands through his hair, gripping it tightly before scrubbing his face with a deep sigh. “What if something happened?”

Liam moved over to his brother and rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Don’t freak out yet, brother. Why don’t we go to her apartment and check on her?”

Killian nodded, relaxing slightly. “Always the voice of reason.”

_I could wear the weight_  
_Take it all the way_  
_Every creature's fate_  
_Is theirs and theirs alone_ _  
_ It's yours and yours alone

Killian knocked on Emma’s door several times, listening for any sign of noise from within. “Nothing.” He leaned his head on the wooden frame with a sigh.

“Does she have a spare key?”

“Yeah, under the mat.” Killian flipped up the edge and retrieved the key before carefully opening the door. “Emma?”

All the lights were off and the apartment was pitch-black; the windows were covered with dark drapes, keeping any sunlight from shining in. “Those are new,” Killian pointed out, switching the lights on.

Liam poked around. “Keys and jacket are still here. Check her room, maybe?” Killian nodded and headed down the short hallway to the single bedroom.

Killian knocked softly on the door. “Emma, are you in there?”

“Go away,” a muffled voice replied with a sniffle.

Killian cracked the door, letting a small sliver of light through to land on her bed. He could barely make out her form under a pile of blankets. He turned and caught Liam’s eye and nodded to let him know Emma was in there. “Emma, love, what’s wrong?”

“Please, just...leave me alone.” Her voice sounded choked, like she was holding back tears.

“It’s just Liam and me, no one else. We’re worried about you, love...you weren’t answering your phone.” He stepped into the room and shut the door before moving over to the bed and taking a seat on the ground. “Whatever’s wrong...let us help, please, love.”

He sat there silently for what felt like hours, but was just a few minutes before Emma began to whisper. “I just...what’s there to live for? I haven’t had a case in weeks and I need to pay rent and nothing’s going right and it’s just so...hopeless.” He was surprised to hear sobs starting to wrack her body. Emma was never, in the five years of their friendship, one to let anyone see her cry, no matter how dire the situation.

Killian stood up and sat down next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms and wiping her tears with a gentle finger. She leaned into his embrace, gripping his shirt tightly as her head fell on his shoulder. “It’s okay, love, we’re here for you. You’re not alone,” he whispered over and over, rocking her slowly until the tears began to subside. Emma held onto him, sniffling quietly every so often.

After a few moments, Killian started stroking her hair. “Are you...have you thought about hurting yourself?” he whispered hoarsely.

She shook her head against his neck vehemently. “No, nothing like that. I just...it’s so hard to get out of bed and the lights are so bright and I just…I’m so exhausted all the time.”

That set off some bells in Killian’s head, reminding him of when his college roommate, Robin, was diagnosed with depression their junior year. Robin had gradually become more secluded, more reserved, unwilling to spend time with his friends, and eventually missing a bunch of classes because he wanted to stay in bed all day. While some of his professors just labeled him as lazy, his girlfriend Regina was astute enough to recognize what was happening and encouraged Robin to see a counselor on campus. With the help of some medication and therapy, Robin was able to manage his disease and finish out the semester strong. Killian wondered if Emma was going through the same thing now.

_So light it up and let it go_  
_Don't you see that you are not alone?_  
_Light it up and watch it fly_ _  
'Cause you can go anywhere you want tonight_

“Emma, love...I think you need to talk to someone.” he started hesitantly. “I think...you may be depressed.”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I just...need some time.”

“I’m just worried about you, love. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

They sat there quietly for awhile, Killian’s fingers rubbing gentle circles into Emma’s back as her breathing steadied and the sniffles went away. He carefully eased them down so he was lying on his back and she curled into his chest, nestled in his arms. “Could I maybe...do you know of someone good?” she whispered.

“I’ll ask Robin who he sees. I know he’s been really pleased with her.” Emma nodded, shifting as close as she could to his warmth.

“Stay with me?” she mumbled sleepily.

“Always, love.” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair.

_Light it up and let it go_  
_Don't you see that you are not alone?_  
_Light it up and watch it fly_  
_'Cause you can be anything you want tonight_  
_It could be a beautiful morning_  
_It could be a beautiful morning_ _  
_ 'Cause it could be a beautiful morning

 

**Author's Note:**

> Depression is nothing to make light of. I've gone through some rough times and have been fortunate to have really supportive friends and family. Please reach out to someone, even if it's anonymous, if you need help!


End file.
